family · health · home · life lessons · motherhood · parenting

Begin again…

It’s the first full week of January 2016 and I find myself starting all over…AGAIN!  Like most people, I make a few resolutions, write out some goals, make a new workout plan, buy healthy food…and start all over.  Sometimes I think it’s just not worth starting over again with “a plan”.  Am I going to make my goal weight? Run faster? Keep my house cleaner this year?  Probably not.  I’m disgusted that I find myself setting the same, or similar goals, year after year.  What’s going to make me accomplish anything this time?!  I’ve decided that the truth is even though these goals would be nice, I don’t want them enough to put the time and effort into achieving them.  They are not what I really want, and they don’t define who I am.  It’s time I stopped focusing on them!  So how do I set goals, keep myself on track in life and health, and find something meaningful enough to motivate me?

I decided I need to review what it is I DO accomplish with my time.  This is a crazy year of change for me personally.  I’m far removed from the stay at home mom with a very part time job, who enjoys decorating for the seasons and some volunteer positions at the school.   I have two children away at college, and two in high school.  I’m pretty much working full time as a PT and also helping with our own business.  I’ve returned to school to finish my doctorate (in December 2016) and I’m scheduled to take a specialist exam in March.  I haven’t spent this much focused time on myself since before we had children….that’s almost 22 years!  I’m running, attending title boxing, and started going to a boot camp workout.  I’m a busy mom planning one child’s graduation from high school and another child’s graduation from college this year. Kids sports and other activities still take up a good part of my calendar.  I work to stay “in touch” with my spouse of 27 years, and try to find a little time with each of my kids.  I’m learning to renew some friendships and build some new ones to help where life changes and stages have left some holes.  Just looking at this list it’s obvious that I’m not an “unmotivated” kind of person, but I find I’m left feeling weary and frustrated by not achieving those crazy goals I keep setting for myself year after year.

So I continue to set the goals, I continue to start over, and keep hoping maybe this time something will break loose and I’ll achieve that grand success I hope for.  But this year I’ve decided to take a different perspective.  There’s no point in living life without some purpose or intention, but those goals I listed earlier really aren’t the goals that I need to stay focused on.  They are really just part of the process of working toward the better me that I hope to become.

My goals this year:

1:  Live every day intentionally.  That will require eating right, exercising, taking time to relax and spend time with family and friends, and making time to SLEEP! Some days can’t address everything, but balance over the weeks and months is what matters.

2:  Complete the doctorate program and pass the OCS exam to prepare myself for expanding my career in physical therapy.  This requires living courageously, believing in myself,  and knowing that I’m not too old to make new plans!

3.  Wake up each day knowing it’s a new day!  This means I have to learn to let go of regrets and mistakes.  They zap my energy and constipate my emotions!  Gotta learn to move on!

Every year the days go by faster and I see more clearly how fragile life really is.  I want to live intentionally, but I want to enjoy the journey.  I read today that an  “Optimist is someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster it’s more like doing the cha-cha”

So I’m going to remember to cha-cha and remind myself of a verse I love…”Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” Galations 6:9.

Just keeping life real,

Diane

 

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